Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
