I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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