She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
operation harelip BJ is a go
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
