Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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