If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
