I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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