Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize