even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize