it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
