I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
