Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
