i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
