Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
