Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
