my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
this will be a night to untag.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
