If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
