Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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