On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
4 words: hood of his car
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
