Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
