your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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