I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize