my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
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I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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