Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
