I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
