i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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