I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
