Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
