what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Someone signed my nipple.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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