Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
