Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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