I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
