we have officially lost it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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