Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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