careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
