ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
