This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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