is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
