He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
After tacos, we're chasing women.