Texts From Last Night

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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.

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  (980): How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv. http://tfl.nu/1i2g
  Replies (10) Good night (750) Bad night (1978)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.

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  (+27): I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal. http://tfl.nu/i549
  Replies (98) Good night (934) Bad night (3987)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  he shaved USA in his pubs

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  (806): he shaved USA in his pubs http://tfl.nu/vbz3
  Replies (20) Good night (1766) Bad night (3057)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.

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  (704): Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning. http://tfl.nu/47ow
  Replies (7) Good night (2712) Bad night (1129)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv

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  (410): i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv http://tfl.nu/8yma
  Replies (17) Good night (4360) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.

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  (614): It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask. http://tfl.nu/r7za
  Replies (8) Good night (8171) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!

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  (727): A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend! http://tfl.nu/ajdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3559) Bad night (753)
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  (760): View more from California

  i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.

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  (760): i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days. http://tfl.nu/h902
  Replies (11) Good night (2083) Bad night (964)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

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  (419): Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won. http://tfl.nu/dkj1
  Replies (3) Good night (2663) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".

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  (512): He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns". http://tfl.nu/398g
  Replies (12) Good night (2628) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

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  (907): This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/qu4g
  Replies (3) Good night (3465) Bad night (549)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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  (908): Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad. http://tfl.nu/akuu
  Replies (1) Good night (519) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.

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  (309): Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time. http://tfl.nu/yqup
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.

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  (248): By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it. http://tfl.nu/tqx4
  Replies (4) Good night (843) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

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  (203): She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle. http://tfl.nu/9n9g
  Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (159)

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