i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...