Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods http://tfl.nu/gefu
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible. http://tfl.nu/1wu4
  Replies (11) Good night (7177) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (5167) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead. http://tfl.nu/49y2
  Replies (14) Good night (1705) Bad night (5455)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we
  Replies (13) Good night (6865) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom. http://tfl.nu/isil
  Replies (20) Good night (1729) Bad night (2977)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Adult decisions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility? (206): Adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/m22f
  Replies (3) Good night (1977) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad. http://tfl.nu/2fcz
  Replies (7) Good night (2461) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar... http://tfl.nu/mqjx
  Replies (12) Good night (714) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great http://tfl.nu/18wk
  Replies (0) Good night (863) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.

  (562): View more from California

  I love my job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night. (562): I love my job. http://tfl.nu/bsab
  Replies (3) Good night (743) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want. http://tfl.nu/b2fd
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating! http://tfl.nu/g8qn
  Replies (0) Good night (459) Bad night (305)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter http://tfl.nu/7i88
  Replies (1) Good night (754) Bad night (442)

Randomize