Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I am a bulletproof tiger!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?

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  (828): I am a bulletproof tiger! (615): Haha. Nice, be careful tonight. (828): I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat? http://tfl.nu/tz40
  Replies (6) Good night (1121) Bad night (566)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...

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  (712): She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow... http://tfl.nu/48nf
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (1223)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Each and every day.

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  (819): Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough? (604): Each and every day. http://tfl.nu/71fx
  Replies (16) Good night (4652) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks

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  (440): Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks http://tfl.nu/nonu
  Replies (21) Good night (7235) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.

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  (208): My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat. http://tfl.nu/4rv6
  Replies (9) Good night (8410) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.

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  (605): He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/s2q9
  Replies (11) Good night (1529) Bad night (5810)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
  Replies (4) Good night (1101) Bad night (2056)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.

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  (201): Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium. http://tfl.nu/lfpo
  Replies (11) Good night (4722) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party

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  (330): Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party http://tfl.nu/m7il
  Replies (4) Good night (2068) Bad night (721)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?

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  (419): How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter? http://tfl.nu/8q8x
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.

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  (902): I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability. http://tfl.nu/xk8u
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.

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  (570): I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off. http://tfl.nu/8cid
  Replies (11) Good night (1004) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?

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  (425): What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/30k4
  Replies (5) Good night (575) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited

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  (419): Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited http://tfl.nu/eyjk
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run

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  (805): Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run http://tfl.nu/snuu
  Replies (3) Good night (376) Bad night (311)

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