i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?