even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
