I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
