It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
