You work out of a Hotel?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
