Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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