were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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