I need help removing her.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
