well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
