Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
