I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize