he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
