the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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