i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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