I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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