i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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