So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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