that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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