Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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