it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
