Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They took my balls.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
