nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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