I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
