its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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